Articles on Parenting Matters:
Help! He Is Having A Meltdown
Has your child screamed and kicked up a big fuss in a crowded shopping mall? Maybe hit or bit abother child at the playground or in school? Do you spend more time dealing with your child's tantrums, than doing something fun with him?
Tantrums will rear their ugly heads, as anyone with kids will tell you. The secret is to learn how to deal with them effectively and if possible, prevent them from happening in the first place.
Tantrums are most commonly associated with toddlers, but if tantrums are dealt with incorrectly, children and even adults learn to use them to manipulate others or gain attention. The ultimate goal in dealing with tantrums is to teach the child acceptable and appropriate ways of expressing themselves.
The things that worsens tantrums
Don't throw a tantrum yourself
Most parents have done this at times and it worsens things. More importantly, you become a negative role model for the child.
Don't punish or lecture
The parent's reaction is very important. Since children mirror their parent's actions, adults exert a very powerful and important influence on children.
Scolding or telling a child what not to do does not teach him appropraite behaviour for future incidents. Reinforce positive behaviour and where possible explain how his behaviour affects others.
Don't give in
This only teaches the child to use tanturms as a manipulation tool, which may continue indefintely. For example, letting him have a toy everytime he has a tantrum at the store tells him that tantrums get him the resluts he wants. This develops a rountine that he will come to expect.
Don't judge or ask who started it
Doing this when a group of children are kicking up a fuss may create more problems among siblings or frineds, who may feel that the parent is siding with a favourite.
Don't threaten to leave the child
Again, many parents use this tactic, but this just frightens the child, making him feel more upset and abandoned.
Don't let others affect how you respond
Handling your child's tantrum appropriately is your top priority. Don't let the stares and shaking heads of passer-by affect how you plan to handle the situation.
Amanda Chew-Arul
Young Families
Singapore
17 Jan 2007
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Child Diabetes - 6 Excellent Suggestions For Parents
You need to take care of your diabetic child as it has significant emotional and physiological impact on his or her life. Your child's daily routine, good and bad habits, forgetfulness and outright disregard for things that should be done, can all be supervised at home. However, situation is different at school. You have to believe and ensure that your diabetic kid and the teachers at school will take care of your children health.
You need to communicate and discuss the matter to teachers, classmates, and school officials before your child heads off to school, it's vital. It is necessary to update them all potential situations that may arise for a diabetic child. The school teachers and school officials should have a plan in place to handle any emergencies.
The kids with Type I diabetes which can require insulin shots throughout the day
However, these can be self administered. School officials need to be aware of how often such shots should be given. School administration should be well prepared to allow a time and place for your child to receive his or her insulin shots. Teacher should assist the child in his or her requirement to drink water or the need to use the restroom.
You need to take utmost care to inform your child's classmates because it's a personal one for your kid. If such a disclosure is made, it should be presented so that your child's self esteem should not hurt. You should educate them the basics of blood sugar and insulin and the need to supplement the body's needs with insulin shots. Please make this information sharing an interactive one and allow the children to ask questions.
Inform classmates, teachers and school officials how a diabetic kid can behave unusually due to lack of sugar in blood. Your child may display occasional anger, become headachy, or become confused about simple matters. In such instances, the teacher or school nurse must offer your child fruit juice, a piece of candy or soda pop to help bring his or her blood sugar level up.
You need to educate your child on how to understand the early signs of diabetic crisis. The diabetes symptoms include tiredness, becoming shaky, feeling butterflies in the stomach, sweating. These are subtle signs that your child's blood sugar level is dropping and he or she needs a small meal to bring sugar level back under control.
School plays a major role in every child's all aspects of life. Your diabetic child, though a special child and requires special treatment but has the same dreams and interests as other children. Give them required assistance so that the kid can live a relatively normal school life. Your interaction with school officials, teachers and your kid's classmate and their assistance is utmost necessary for a diabetic kid.
Arindam Chattopadhvav
10 Feb 2007
Author is information publisher on Home improvement. You may visit site HomeImprovement for latest information
Modern Parenting Tip with Ancient Method
Today is Valentine’s Day and I woke up feeling excellent and energetic. As I get into the usual routine of washing up followed by waking up my kids, I realized that it’s no different from any other days. And that’s because the kids were just as unreluctant and grouchy getting out of bed. Well, to think about it, I can’t really expect a 3 and 6 year old kid to understand the meaning of Valentine’s day. In fact, things seem to get worse as my 3 year old got into her mood swings and turned from being a cheerful to a grumpy and frowning “old” soul. In the past, I would have chosen to discipline her straight away as I believe that such behaviours are intolerable. Today, I walked away silently and went up to my lovely spouse and ask him to help handle the situation. It worked, just like all other times.
The purpose of this story is to share with all other parents that parenting is not a difficult task if you understand the correct disciplining style and approach that would suit your child’s character. For example, the above method used would not have worked for the 6 year old.
These days, as more households require dual income to survive, parents would definitely have less time to bond and understand their child. Quite often, they either take the easy way out through compensation in the form of material gains or give in to their demands and requirements. However, we have also seen families where the mother spends a lot of time taking care of the children but still could not truly comprehend or understand them. It always takes two hands to clap to build bonding and understanding. But, in the initial phase of growing up, the parents have a far greater and more important role to play.
The approach, guidance, encouragement and disciplinary style is different for all children, even if they are genetically yours. What ways can parents really look at to find out the attributes, characteristics, strengths and weaknesses of their child especially at a very young tender age?
I have researched for the past 8 years and finally found a useful method to establish that. It belonged to the study of Chinese Metaphysics and by utilizing the child’s Date of Birth information, the core characteristics, behavior, attributes, strengths, weaknesses and potential can all be established. You may ask why is it important to find out all these at a very young age? Well, don’t you think that will help you in establishing the best form of guidance, development plans, disciplinary style for that particular child. All of us have different skills - those that are in-born or inherent and those that require development through different stage of experiences. By understanding the inherent talents, parents can easily identify areas to further enrich and nurture without the long process of trial and error. I have seen many
parents enrolling their children in such a vast variety of programs and classes that their schedule turns out to be busier than any working adults. In my opinion which some others may differ, I feel that there’s a lack of focus and if we really stop and think for a moment, how many people are there in this world who are great and can excel in different skillsets. For example, a good singer may not necessarily be a good soccer player or a good actor may find it difficult being a chartered accountant. While most parents would like their kids to be multi-talented, this can sometime turn the tables around and create a reverse outcome.
I came across this method called Bazi Analysis (written in Chinese as ??) many years ago and found that this originated from China and has been used for centuries. In the more modern times like now, people who utilizes this method most are the “fortune-tellers”. On this note, I urge everyone not to develop any negative opinion yet just because it is used by people in this profession as I realized that this method has benefits far greater than just for the purpose of fortune-telling. The ignorance and lack of proper information has prevented people from finding out more on the origin and basis of this method. In fact, this has even led many people to associate it partially to religious or spiritual practice. This is an incorrect perception as throughout my whole study and use of this method, I had never once used any of these practices.
With the possession of a degree in Business Studies and major in Banking and Finance, only things that have a basis and logical explanation will entice me to try it. And it is with this attitude that I have pursued and studied the theories and analysis methodologies carefully. The testimonial of this fantastic Bazi theory comes from my own personal experiences as I learnt to understand not only myself better, but also, all others around me from my parents whom I could not always communicate openly with, to my children, my spouse, extended family members and many more. And it is also through these experiences that I found that it has helped me in my “parenting” skills.
The day each of my child was born, I would quickly take their Date of Birth information and developed the chart for my analysis. As years passed, their display of characteristics, behavioural traits, strengths and weaknesses were more visible but was what I have expected. Since day one, I have understood them well and this has given me ample time to accept everything about them. I also used this knowledge to help my spouse and me develop the respective guidance and disciplinary approaches for each of them. Now that they have grown to a new stage of development, we are confident that our plans for them will be something they can excel in.
Parenting, as a whole, can be a stressful and daunting task. While many others have different approachs to manage this, I have felt that the Bazi Analysis method is suitable for me as it is a quick and immediate deduction which leaves you lots of time to plan in advance and most importantly, enjoy the ride and journey of Parenting life.
Last but not least, I quote “Strong reasons make strong actions” by William Shakespeare (1564-1616). As parents, we always have reasons to give the best to our children, let’s take actions to first help them find what they are best in.
Article written by
Linda Seck
Director & Consultant
LSECK Consulting Services
www.lindaseck.com
Singapore
14 Feb 2007