Articles on Funny Matters:

Reasons why I never visit my Rich Friend?

Once while visiting a very rich friend, the maid approached me and.....

Question : "What would you like to have ..Fruit juice, Soda, Tea, Chocolate, Capuccino,
                  Frapuccino,or Coffee?"

Answer :    Tea please

Question : " Ceylon tea, Indian tea, Herbal tea,Bush tea, Honey bush tea, Iced tea or
                    green tea ?"

Answer : "Ceylon tea "

Question : "How would you like it ? Black or white ?
Answer: "White"

Question: "Milk, or fresh cream
Answer: "With milk "

Question: "Goat's milk, or cow's milk"
Answer: "With cow's milk please.

Question: "Freezeland cow or Afrikaner cow?"
Answer: " Um, I'll just take it black. "

Question: Would you like it with sweetener,sugar or honey?"
Answer  :  With sugar"

Question: "Beet sugar or cane sugar?"
Answer: "Cane sugar "

Question:" White, brown or yellow sugar?"
Answer: "Forget about the tea, just give me a glass of water instead."

Question:  Mineral water, tap water or distilled water?
Answer  :  Mineral water

Question:  Flavored or non-flavored?
Answer  :  I think I'll just die of thirst!

MORAL OF THE STORY IS NEXT TIME WHEN U VISIT YOUR RICH FRIEND, DON'T TALK TO THE MAID.


Eileen Koo
Singapore
30 Nov 2006

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Toilet Poems

EXCELLENT POEMS BY NOT SO FAMOUS POETS... FOUND ON TOILET DOORS AND
WALLS..........

A BUDDING POET TRYING HIS BEST...

HERE I LIE IN STINKY VAPOR,
BECAUSE SOME BASTARD STOLE THE TOILET PAPER,
SHALL I LIE, OR SHALL I LINGER,
OR SHALL I BE FORCED TO USE MY FINGER.

BEFORE HE GRADUATED TO BE A POET, HE WROTE THIS...

HERE I SIT
BROKEN HEARTED
TRIED TO SHIT
BUT ONLY FARTED

SOMEONE WHO HAD A DIFFERENT EXPERIENCE WROTE,

YOU'RE LUCKY
YOU HAD YOUR CHANCE
I TRIED TO FART,
AND SHIT IN MY PANTS!

PERHAPS IT'S TRUE THAT PEOPLE FIND INSPIRATION IN TOILETS.

I CAME HERE
TO SHIT AND STINK,
BUT ALL I DO
IS SIT AND THINK.

THERE ARE ALSO PEOPLE WHO COME IN FOR A DIFFERENT PURPOSE...

SOME COME HERE TO SIT AND THINK,
SOME COME HERE TO SHIT AND STINK,
BUT I COME
HERE TO SCRATCH MY BALLS,
AND READ THE BULLSHIT ON THE WALL...

TOILETS WALLS ALSO DOUBLE AS JOB ADVERTISEMENT SPACE.......
(WRITTEN HIGH UPON THE WALL)

IF YOU CAN PISS ABOVE THIS LINE,
THE SINGAPORE FIRE DEPARTMENT WANTS YOU.


MINISTRY OF ENVIRONMENT ADVERTISEMENT.
WE AIM TO PLEASE!
YOU AIM TOO! PLEASE

ON THE INSIDE OF A TOILET DOOR:>
PATRONS ARE REQUESTED TO REMAIN SEATED THROUGHOUT THE ENTIRE
PERFORMANCE.

AND FINALLY, THIS SHOULD TEACH SOME A LESSON...
SIGN SEEN AT A RESTAURANT:

THE HANDS THAT CLEAN THESE TOILETS ALSO MAKE YOUR FOOD...
PLEASE AIM PROPERLY.

By,
Someone Who Just Could Not Stand @ The Toilet
Singapore
07 Dec 2006

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